A priest gets a haircut and a shave, and asks the barber, “How much do I owe you?”
The barber says, “For a man of the cloth like yourself, father, no charge!”
The next morning when the barber opens the shop, he finds a bouquet of 12 flowers on his doorstep.
Later that day a Buddhist monk is in getting his head shaved. “How much do I owe you?” Asks the monk. The barber replies, “For an enlightened man such as yourself, no charge”
The next morning when the barber comes to open the shop he finds 12 gems on his doorstep.
Later that day a rabbi comes in to get his beard lightly trimmed and a haircut. “How much do I owe you?” Asks the rabbi.
“For a man of god such as yourself, no charge,” answered the barber.
The next morning when the barber comes to open the shop he finds 12 rabbis on his doorstep.
The Religion Thread
Re: The Religion Thread
Two nuns walk into a bar.
The bartender is surprised and then asks them, “I’m sorry, sisters, but are you sure this is the right place for you?”
“We know it’s not, but the reverend told us to help sinful souls. We thought we could find one here.”
The next day, two rabbis walk into the bar. The bartender also asks them.
“We know this is a sinful place, but the synagogue is just being renovated, and we thought we would sit here to discuss religious issues.”
On the third day, two Irish priests walk into the bar. The bartender asks one of them,
“Father, I’m surprised to see you here.”
“Why, my son?”
“It’s only 10 a.m., and I’ve never seen you here before 11!”
The bartender is surprised and then asks them, “I’m sorry, sisters, but are you sure this is the right place for you?”
“We know it’s not, but the reverend told us to help sinful souls. We thought we could find one here.”
The next day, two rabbis walk into the bar. The bartender also asks them.
“We know this is a sinful place, but the synagogue is just being renovated, and we thought we would sit here to discuss religious issues.”
On the third day, two Irish priests walk into the bar. The bartender asks one of them,
“Father, I’m surprised to see you here.”
“Why, my son?”
“It’s only 10 a.m., and I’ve never seen you here before 11!”
Re: The Religion Thread
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job.
So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins:
“When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”
“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast.
“Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”
So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins:
“When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”
“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast.
“Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”
Re: The Religion Thread
Gold!grayman wrote: ↑Mon Sep 02, 2024 9:12 pm A priest gets a haircut and a shave, and asks the barber, “How much do I owe you?”
The barber says, “For a man of the cloth like yourself, father, no charge!”
The next morning when the barber opens the shop, he finds a bouquet of 12 flowers on his doorstep.
Later that day a Buddhist monk is in getting his head shaved. “How much do I owe you?” Asks the monk. The barber replies, “For an enlightened man such as yourself, no charge”
The next morning when the barber comes to open the shop he finds 12 gems on his doorstep.
Later that day a rabbi comes in to get his beard lightly trimmed and a haircut. “How much do I owe you?” Asks the rabbi.
“For a man of god such as yourself, no charge,” answered the barber.
The next morning when the barber comes to open the shop he finds 12 rabbis on his doorstep.
Re: The Religion Thread
Diamond!grayman wrote: ↑Mon Sep 02, 2024 9:19 pm A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job.
So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins:
“When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”
“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast.
“Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”
Why is it the ones where Rabbis come last are funniest?
Re: The Religion Thread
Comedian Josh Johnson talks about preachers scamming millions of $$$:
https://youtu.be/8SoKi4e5NL4?feature=shared
https://youtu.be/8SoKi4e5NL4?feature=shared
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President Bush
- Posts: 1095
- Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2022 3:05 am
Re: The Religion Thread
Tucker Carlson talks about the demon that attacked him in bed...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzM2Sjz-B-U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzM2Sjz-B-U
Re: The Religion Thread
Delusional sorry to say. When a person buys shit without evidence, they're in trouble. Problem is, you can't talk them out of any of it.
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arthwollipot
- Posts: 680
- Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2023 11:20 pm
Re: The Religion Thread
Tucker is another of those people whose punchable face I will not pollute my algorithm with.
If you're not on edge, you're taking up too much space.
