Mad, Bad, and Sad: Global

[President Bush]

“As Election Day approaches, more and more Americans are reminiscing about how much they enjoy it when an old white man who in no way understands them is placed in charge of the world’s largest economy,” University of Virginia political scientist Charles Overberg said. “Indeed, when voters consider whom they’d like to oversee vital social programs and embody the image of the United States projected abroad, the vast majority feel a sense of comfort and safety upon contemplating the familiar, reassuring light-skinned face of a man who is utterly incapable of connecting with them or anyone else of their socioeconomic status in any meaningful way.”

“In particular, citizens feel the greatest sense of contentment with an outrageously privileged Caucasian man who has never experienced any adversity whatsoever,” Overberg continued. “It’s nearly universal—Americans just have a soft spot for granting unfathomable power to white, backward-thinking 60-year-old men.”

According to a Reuters/Ipsos poll conducted this week, more than 80 percent of likely voters said they felt “calmed” and “soothed” upon picturing the nation’s commander in chief as a detached Caucasian male, while 9 out of 10 admitted they were comforted by the idea of once again placing the future of Social Security and health care in the hands of an older gentleman of European descent who is starkly disconnected from everyday reality.

Additionally, all 1,214 survey respondents agreed they would feel most reassured by a U.S. president who had experienced an easy, unimpeded path to success by being born into remarkable wealth.

“I really like when the guy in charge of the country is white and doesn’t understand me,” said unemployed Cincinnati resident Marquis Washington, 46, who stated that he preferred an out-of-touch white man to a nonwhite man, a relatable white man, or a woman of any race when it came to issues such as taxes, national security, energy, and trade. “It’s a comforting feeling to see a self-involved rich white man in the White House.”

https://www.theonion.com/nation-suddenl ... 1819574113

[Admin]

As usual, The Onion hits the nail straight on.

[stanky]

Yet, it must be true. If that's not what we want, why do we keep getting it?
I suspect that people are so afraid of the future that they'll risk living in the past as long as possible....even if it means another rich old cracker in power.

Or, maybe we live in a sham democracy.

[Admin]

Yet, it must be true. If that's not what we want, why do we keep getting it?
I suspect that people are so afraid of the future that they'll risk living in the past as long as possible....even if it means another rich old cracker in power.

Or, maybe we live in a sham democracy.

I'm fucked if I know what's wrong with America. Being an old white bloke is not an advantage in politics here.

I think you guys should hit the reset button.

[stanky]

same here

[sparks]

One must define 'reset' button.

Don't believe it'll ever happen. Too much power concentrated in the hands of too few.

[President Bush]

Yet, it must be true. If that's not what we want, why do we keep getting it?
I suspect that people are so afraid of the future that they'll risk living in the past as long as possible....even if it means another rich old cracker in power.

Or, maybe we live in a sham democracy.

I'm fucked if I know what's wrong with America. Being an old white bloke is not an advantage in politics here.

I think you guys should hit the reset button.

5217 active military aircraft, 11 large nuclear-powered aircraft carriers, and 5428 nuclear warheads might have something to do with it.

[Admin]

5217 active military aircraft, 11 large nuclear-powered aircraft carriers, and 5428 nuclear warheads might have something to do with it.

That and the christ knows how many million guns in private hands.

[stanky]

One must define 'reset' button.

Don't believe it'll ever happen. Too much power concentrated in the hands of too few.

eventually, the pitch forks come out.

[President Bush]

5217 active military aircraft, 11 large nuclear-powered aircraft carriers, and 5428 nuclear warheads might have something to do with it.

That and the christ knows how many million guns in private hands.

That's why we can't have a girl running the place, she might get hurt or knock something over.