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Golf is a sport right?
Eat your hearts out all those snowed in and shivering people out there.  Just back from lunching at the local Golf Club.  Might even join the thing if I don't need to take out a loan to pay the fees. 

Won't be playing golf,  but eating a perfectly cooked $20 Seafood Basket in a restaurant with 180 degree views of the river, bush on the island opposite,  and the ocean down at the river mouth,  and not a single building in sight is  well  worth the price.

The river  is the clearest it can get, sparkly greeny blue like a millionaire's swimming pool.  Only one idiot in a speed boat on it, the rest in fishing dinghies and kayaks. 
Birds diving and dining royally off the stupider fish stranded on the sand bar, happy fishermen lined up at the bench on the bank, set up to clean fish  on, sun dancing on the water,  aaaaand, I got a parking space right near the door!

Who needs to die to go to heaven?  [Image: lol-029.png]
Love, do tell the name of the river? I love a river, you know. Especially clear ones with wild-life.

(I showed you mine.)
And, no. Golf isn't a sport.

Bowling isn't, either.

(Not sure about the luge.)
(12-10-2015, 09:23 PM)stanky Wrote:  Love, do tell the name of the river? I love a river, you know. Especially clear ones with wild-life.

(I showed you mine.)

No names no pack drill.


This is the golf course, it's on an island, the restaurant is in that building up on the right hand end of it.

[Image: 2015-12-11_214525_zpshbvcv80j.jpg]

This is the best corner of the restaurant to get the views both ways.  This one is looking towards the river mouth in the distance.
[Image: 2015-12-11_213614_zps9jv9tqtv.jpg]

The river mouth, yes it is that colour on a clear day.
[Image: 2015-12-11_212718_zpsv5sllvmc.jpg]

This is the view in the opposite direction.  That land across the river all belongs to the Kooris on Native Title which is probably a good thing or it would be covered in caravan parks and motels.
[Image: 2015-12-11_203725_zpszh9ulp2k.jpg]

This is the biggest problem with the whole set up.  The courseway to the island goes under water at high tide by a few inches.  Rule of thumb is if you can't see the top of those blocks you don't go to the golf club.   Tough if the tide comes up high, or the river floods while you're over there,  but the food's good,  and they have booze so I've never heard any complaints.
[Image: 2015-12-11_211309_zpssgdew2ip.jpg]
Nice spot.

You should bang out 9 holes next time. (Golf is the most annoying game ever invented - I swear those balls they use are possessed by demons)
Love is... that one person whose freshly-warm toilet seat you don't find disgusting.
Won't be playing golf. I can barely swing an egg lifter let alone a 9 iron.
I was a caddy at a fancy golf-club during summers in high-school. This was pre-golf-cart days. The job sucked, and I learned to hate golf and the people that play it. They tended to blame me for their shitty time. I know what waitresses must feel like some times.

Still, the experience has encouraged my development of a new product, which I believe could make us all wealthy.

I call it "Mini-mini Golf".

Picture a 'to-scale' model of a miniature golf course, all on a 4'x8' plywood base; replete with all manner of train-set sized bushes and ponds; wind-mills and monsters...with 3-d protrusions and dips in the substrate.
The game is played in suburban basements, with miniature golf clubs and balls...all true to real life scale.

I'm certain that this will be a big seller. Not so much with millennials...with their aging parents.

Like so many products, the mini-mini golf course will occasionally need some cleaning. No one wants to see the mini-mini-windmill get dull over time. Not every brand of polish on the market is fit for the task.

There is one brand that rises above the competition...but more on that detail later.
I think that 'mini-mini' golf was called conkers when I was a pup. [Image: lol-038.gif]
I'll need to google that one.

We had an old game; wtf was the name of it? Fuck, something like "Skittles"?
It was played on a large wooden frame with a raised perimeter; with little spinning tops.

Me and my bro were way into the hockey game of the late 50's/early 60's wherein you could pull various shafts in and out, and twist them to make the hockey stick hit the puck. It was an awesome game; no batteries included.

I imagine it has been replaced by an expensive version without the physical exertion.

Yeah, I'm a ranting curmudgeon. I would totally hate being a kid today, in the U.S. They aren't allowed to do shit.
How do they even manage to have a rope swing over the swimming hole? Unless they're bucking for the life of crime?

That swimming hole is now in private ownership, and that rope swing is a violation of all common-sense pro-insurance activity.

I couldn't live in a world without rope swings over swimming holes.

I may as well be a cave man.

But the 'old swimming hole" was the first casualty of our new fascist groove. All of the ones from my child-hood are gone and illegal and toxic as shit.

For a gazillion bucks, there are companies that will let you experience the thrills of my funky childhood.
With enough money, you could possibly take a ride on a rope swing, and drop into a nice swimming hole.

(Don't expect to see any of the cool creatures we saw...they have been eliminated, due to safety violations.)
Some of the swimming holes I've been in are better gone.  Believe me a hole in the Hunter River on a hot day in a  drought is far from 'refreshing'.  Full of weed and turtles and cow shit  ...  but we swam in it anyway. And survived.

The loss of one though was little short of tragedy.

Picture a clear clean tidal river, not unlike the one here but smaller. It runs beside a little village about an hour's drive north, Red Rock.
 In the river bank Reserve and picnic area was an ancient (by local standards) Maleleuca (Tea Tree).  This old hero tree was growing almost horizontally out over the river.  We could walk out on it's trunk  and dive (or in my case jump) from it into the  deepish hole underneath.  Most of the river was about the same depth really, but this tree was in a bend and the current bypassed the 'hole' and kept further out in the river so it wasn't such a workout to stay in one place.  

There was always a hell of a current except at the change of tides.  There wasn't much chance of anyone getting swept out to sea, plenty of sandbars between the 'hole' and the sea, but it was bloody exhausting trying to stay near your towel.

The demise of the tree wasn't, as expected, caused by being overloved by too many people.
There eventually came the cyclone that broke the old tree's hold.  The river flooded higher than usual, the wind did it's  work and together wind and water undercut the bank  from under it's roots and it fell into the hole.

They cleared the tree away, and the hole is still there,  but the magic is gone.

It was in that 'cove' behind the car but the bank's turned into a 'beach' now so no more jumping.  siiiiigh.
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