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what did you learn today?
#1
Not to brag, but i learned i'm still an asshole. Mary and me got into a dispute earlier. All our debates are predicated on the fact that i'm evolving into a slug. That's not the asshole part.

After i went to my room and sat in the corner for a while, i came back out.
I sheepishly hung my head and shuffled my feet, and asked her:

"Am i the funniest boyfriend you've ever had?"

She immediately said yes. I know her other boyfriends.

But then i asked the asshole question:

"Like, easily?"

She said "Yes."

Even though she was somewhat irked by me already.

Love is so threatening. No knifes need be involved.

So,
what did ya'll learn today?
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#2
I hearken back to some of the least funny stand-up routines I've ever heard.
Mormon missionaries, for example....
If you're lucky, those earnest lads could show up on your door-step, for free.

And work the hilarious un-funny schtick.
Encounters with police can also be hilariously non-funny.

Donald Trump is the greatest comedian of all time.
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#3
(02-25-2020, 04:32 PM)stanky Wrote:  what did ya'll learn today?

That my coronavirus prediction skills are brilliant.

Which isn't good news in any way.
Love is... that one person whose freshly-warm toilet seat you don't find disgusting.
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#4
Buy Amazon? 
Ask not what is the problem but, rather, where is the lesion.
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#5
(02-25-2020, 10:07 PM)President Bush Wrote:  Buy Amazon? 

Rainforests? Sure.
Love is... that one person whose freshly-warm toilet seat you don't find disgusting.
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#6
(02-25-2020, 09:32 PM)The Atheist Wrote:  
(02-25-2020, 04:32 PM)stanky Wrote:  what did ya'll learn today?

That my coronavirus prediction skills are brilliant.

Which isn't good news in any way.

I managed an artistic response.
It was eaten by the interwebs.

(I hate when this happens.)
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#7
Art's well over-rated.

Tracey Emin knows this after having taken the piss out of the art world by leaving an unmade bed in a art gallery that later sold for three million pounds. Even the odd American has got in the act - the most expensive artwork by a living artist is down to some Yank bloke who make a plaster cast of a balloon animal then sold a steel model of it for $70,000,000.
Love is... that one person whose freshly-warm toilet seat you don't find disgusting.
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#8
I already knew when the FL says "Larry" that something is up. I'm usually "Moo", "Plooky" or "Plooky Peters", often "Fellow Pumpkins". 

She was taking a shit just off the trail far enough from the Blue Ridge Parkway that nobody else should have been around. Though I've seen her drop her pants out in the sticks often enough that it was bound to happen somebody someday would blunder onto the scene.

Tried to warn the guy by saying: "look out, my wife is taking a poop over there". Situation seemed least awkward for me out of everybody though his eyes lit up a bit.

What led her to call me by my actual name after the guy wandered on down the trail was that she'd wee'd quite a bit down her left pants leg. I congratulated her, welcomed her to the club of pissing all over yourself. She called me Larry again. It was about an hour back to the truck.
Ask not what is the problem but, rather, where is the lesion.
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#9
damn, Larry.

that could be a Tom Waits song.
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#10
(03-25-2020, 08:25 PM)stanky Wrote:  damn, Larry.

that could be a Tom Waits song.

Wife and I watched Mystery Men the other night.

Tom Waits as Doctor A. Heller.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8X_RjblHg8



Quote:" It's a psychofrakulator. It creates a cloud of radically-fluctuating free-deviant chaotrons which penetrate the synaptic relays. It's concatenated with a synchronous transport switch that creates a virtual tributary. It's focused onto a biobolic reflector and what happens is that hallucinations become reality and the brain is literally fried from within."
"when you think you've lost everything... you find out you can always lose a little bit more." - President Bush
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