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the x-mas cheer thread
#1
As we enter the holiday season, Mary is busy putting together lovely packages for her loved ones. Her gifts are thoughtful and well planned.
She made grape jelly from our grapes; hot sauce from the garden; packets of wild-flower seed she gathers in the spring, and stunningly, jars of black-walnut meats she painstakingly extracts form the nuts in the woods here. She also gives to groovy charities. This year, she's paid for solar panels to be sent to a village in Kenya. They send a card to the person of your choice, explaining the gift in their name.

It's disgusting. It makes it hard for me to simply ignore the holiday show without some pangs of guilt. I suck. I don't even send x-mas cards.
I just tuck in and wait for it to go away. Sometimes, I consider driving around with a bee-bee gun, shooting out the new inflatable decorations. I haven't done that yet...but I'm strongly 'bah-humbug' toward the tradition. I never liked various Christmas albums pop-stars crank out. I'm the worst.

However, i did have an idea:
Printing fake charity cards that tell my loved ones that the donation, in their name, has bought a cow and 3 goats for a poor family in Botswana. With photo-shop skills and a decent printer, and a few public domain photos of black kids with swollen bellies and flies on their eyes, I think it's do-able. Why would they bother checking the legitimacy? 

Is it wrong to make someone feel good about themselves for a moment?

(I'd like to keep the cost down to 50 cents per card.)
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#2
"I just tuck in and wait for it to go away."

You and me both.

Gawd, but I loathe this time of the year.
You can lead 'em to knowledge, but you can't make 'em think.
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#3
Maybe you could bring the ducks something special for x-mas.

Good luck dodging the show. It's not easy. It's somewhat 'in your face'. Despite the war on it.
My little town has the decorations up; has a parade; Santa rides a tractor, etc. I don't mind that stuff...although the decorations have gotten fairly abstract. For instance, toy soldiers qualify for the holiday spirit. And even inflatable Snoopy's, with a Santa hat.

The desperation of the advertisements is what i find most troubling.
Like, all manner of businesses are depending on our shopping sprees to stay afloat.
And Bezos is the Grinch. Ma and Pa are going down.
And not in a sexy way.

There will be an up-tick in the flow of plastic crap, for sure.
Lots will end up in the ocean.

In Jesus's name.
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#4
I'll up my rate of random acts of kindness if i don't have to go shopping for people that have too much stuff.
Mary has the right idea, with the jam and the hot-sauce. But i can't be bothered at her level. She's such a good person, it literally causes me pain.

One of my missions is to hook sparky up with a woman. Yes, a red-head. A really nice person.

(So he can feel my pain.)
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#5
"Maybe you could bring the ducks something special for x-mas."

Ordered more of their favorite food just last night.

As for the redhead, how 'bout this one?

   

And no, I'm not concerned that I'm old enough to be her grandfather! Smile
You can lead 'em to knowledge, but you can't make 'em think.
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#6
.... amen.

All of the above resonates in my Grinchy soul too.  Illogical traditional claptrap.  Shamelessly commercialized marketing feeding frenzy.  Merry Bottom Line!    Stoopid season!  Angry  

....  except for the food, Blush

... and the shiny baubly things  Blush

... and being able to string ghastly tinsel across furnishing protuberances without needing to explain the mental aberration and appalling taste involved. Blush Blush Blush

I have so far hung one item of Xmas decoration description.  A thin plyboard cutout of leaves and pine cones with a christmas tree in the middle.  About 6 inches across and cost me 30 cents.

I painted it on one side, hitched a bit of string to it and hung it off a doorknob on the big buffet cabinet.

Everybody who comes in stops and looks at it.    Why?   It's hardly even noticeable against the timber door and not especially bright,  just done in acrylic craft paint.  It's probably the dullest piece of Xmas gear I've ever been silly enough to put up and so far the most looked at!  Go figure.

I was considering only this morning whether to bother with the other stuff I bought at a discount shop for a few bucks. 
Probably will,  Cuz and wife may be home this year and will drop by, and the new neighbours upstairs are worth a few drinks and  some home cooked shortbread so I may actually have "company" this year.
(I have a ripper recipe for non fatty aftertaste,  really melt in your mouth shortbread. ... sometimes I even nail it.)

It's never bothered me doing Xmas solo.
I still cook myself up some Xmassy food and have a couple of bourbons for people past but I don't get maudlin about it.
At least I don't have a deadline for getting stuff all cooked at once and on time.   I was never good at that. I eat Xmas dinner whenever its ready, no pressure.

------------

Do it Sparky, what Stanky said,  do something for the ducks.  Get 'em some equivalent of roast ham or whatever the hell ducks go batshit for.

(I used to cook up  treats for Belle, and she'd get a new stuffed toy to gut at her leisure from Santa. Confused )


.. and Sparks! ... ask Santa for a kitten.

I wish you a merry kitten. Heart



That charity scam!!!   Tell Mary to send 'em something from me ...heh heh heh.   I like your thinking there Stanky darlin' you could have gone far in the larceny and scam game.
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#7
(12-13-2019, 06:58 PM)sparks Wrote:  "Maybe you could bring the ducks something special for x-mas."

Ordered more of their favorite food just last night.

As for the redhead, how 'bout this one?



And no, I'm not concerned that I'm old enough to be her grandfather! Smile

this is shameful, but it was the bike in that pic that caught my attention.
I've always had some bike lust.

Check out how fat those tires are!



(hubbah hubbah)
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#8
(12-13-2019, 06:58 PM)sparks Wrote:  As for the redhead, how 'bout this one?



And no, I'm not concerned that I'm old enough to be her grandfather! Smile

Nor should you be. Age is a number.

As my 75 year old mate said to me years ago - as you age, the age of women you desire doesn't change.

Granny porn is for fucked-up teenagers.
Love is... that one person whose freshly-warm toilet seat you don't find disgusting.
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#9
[Image: DvSDv0lVYAACL98?format=jpg&name=large]
Ask not what is the problem but, rather, where is the lesion.
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#10




"as the pope, i nominate grayman for sainthood.." - stanky
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