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Annual stock-holder's report from TBP,inc
#1
2019 promises to be an exciting year, here at Titanic Brass Polish, inc.
The regional manager's meeting had us all a-twitter, and we have responded with the launch of several new products, including some exciting "stocking stuffers" from our new subdivision, "Retro-sheek", which specializes in male grooming products...a billion/year market.

Perhaps some of you aging boomers recall the 'brush cut'. It followed the crew cut, in the early 60's. The brush cut was edgier; it spoke to freedom. The hair was more than an inch long in front, and it was waxed up straight with products like "Butch Wax", which I used myself.
It came in a plastic tube, like a deodorant stick, and you shoved it against the hair at the front of your skull, to make it stand up straight.

Wally, in the hit show "Leave it to Beaver" rocked that look. And the world took notice.
Well, call us old fashioned, but we believe that look is coming back! And we have the wax to enable it.
It comes in three scents: Gay, straight, and unscented.

Of course, you've likely heard of our new "Carbon Fiber Polish", projected to sell like hot-cakes among the millennial elite.
Rest assured, when graphene hits the scene in a big way, we will have the polish you'll need.
We are also launching a few products, just for fun, from our new "Novelty Division".
Our all new "Brass Balls" are not only 'life-size', they come with a special cloth and the perfect brass polish...enough to keep them shiny for a full year...or your money back!

2019 promises to be a bonus year for all of us, and don't be surprised if your bonus checks don't reflect that and more.




Happy Holidays, from all of us at Titanic Brass Polish!
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#2
Well, have to say it's cheering to get some good news from the company we're so heavily invested in.

Keep those dividend cheques rolling in! ... oh .. wait. [Image: yellow-laughing-smiley-emoticon.gif]
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#3
speculation is our most important product.

Keep it shiny!
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