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#1
This one's for TA, he's the only one who'd appreciate it really, he watches OZ politics the way OZ watches America's.

Tony Abbott was prime mover preventing gay marriage being put to parliament for a conscience vote and blackmailed/forced them to do a plebiscite instead because apparently he didn't trust other pollies' consciences.

Said his (Jesuit) conscience wouldn't allow him to  vote in favour of it even though his sister is in a gay relationship.  luvly bloke.

The law has just been passed, about an hour ago,  legalising gay marriage.  Tony Abbott voted Yes.  ... wtf??


Wrote this on the Knitters forum.



ditditditdahdah .. beaking news ... breaking news ....


Local and Federal Police have exhausted lines of enquiry regarding the mysterious disappearance of Tony Abbott's conscience.

An early appeal for public assistance has been issued and a reward $1.58 has been offered for information leading to it's return.
The amount of the reward will be increased to $2.35 to closer reflect it's true value if it's presence is required for any further parliamentary activity.

It was only discovered missing when the vote on Same Sex Marriage was taken in Parliament and he was noticed to have voted in favor!

This astounding reversal of expressed intent drew immediate suspicion that something was missing from the character of the instigator of the plebiscite and leader of the No campaign.

Initial inspection and close scrutiny revealed that Mr Abbott was not an imposter, and a forensic psychiatrist was called in to diagnose the condition causing the character reversal.

An emergency MRI scan revealed that the conscience was missing entirely, leaving only a dark gap where it was presumed to have been.
There were no signs of forced entry evident, and how it got out is still under intense investigation.

Rumours of miraculous intervention were scoffed at by the Federal Police as mischievous journalism.

Latest reports indicate that the search is focusing on the Warringah area, Mr Abbott's electorate,  where it is suspected the conscience may have fled in fear for it's security, or was even perhaps left behind, secreted for safe keeping until it's physical presence was once again required by Mr Abbott in the future.

Mr Abbott's offices will be thoroughly combed for the elusive and possibly (or not) vital element as soon as a key can be found to the door and he coughs up the safe combination.
He denies any knowledge of the cause or manner of it's disappearance.

Rumours abound on who it's absence would most benefit. The only person who seems to need it is Tony Abbott himself so other motives are being sought, but not expected to be found.

No one at all could be found who wanted it, even if it was offered in a solid gold box.

The big money is on Survival Instinct being aided and abetted by Self Interest having been the gang involved in it's abduction.

The physchiatrist's comments to reporters was that he thinks the possibility of it gaining control of his psyche was too high a risk to take as it may have forced him to continue to vote No which would have put him at odds with his 70% Yes voting electorate. The two prime suspects had to prevent that occurring to save themselves and his political career.

This would perilously endanger his chances of getting pre-selection in a hostile electorate, and make re-election highly unlikely due to most of it's voters hating him for ignoring their expressed preference.

Police advise that this theory is only that, and no evidence of motives or it's whereabouts are currently available.

More news will be forthcoming as the investigation proceeds.

Canberra  correspondent Di Wundrin 7/12/17
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#2
That is fucking brilliant - you should submit it to The Shovel.
Love is... that one person whose freshly-warm toilet seat you don't find disgusting.
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#3
small wonder rednecks fear liberals.
after we take their guns, we'll shove our gay agenda down their throats.
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#4
[Image: b1fe9df83aae7d2bf6be208e4c7d7344.jpg]

[Image: 55a0392021b4f_360035b.jpg]
"(my grunge is true)" - stanky
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#5
What has been seen....cannot be unseen!!!
You can lead 'em to knowledge, but you can't make 'em think.
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#6
well, there's a reason for my name.

it's awkward to say this because
i didn't have sons.
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#7
Oh, you've met our ex PM then??

[Image: 33237612017-12-09_101544.jpg] [Image: 92197962017-12-09_101707.jpg]


Can't figure why I find him so repulsive, maybe it's the hairy tits?  

There's been an update to previous reports regarding the conscience abduction.

I'll round it up, you'll luv  it.
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#8
Putin, he is not.
Love is... that one person whose freshly-warm toilet seat you don't find disgusting.
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#9
This was the updated Knitters post... forgot to post it here last night.

Quote:http://www.news.com.au/finance/work/leaders/the-nine-lower-house-mps-who-didnt-vote-on-samesex-marriage/news-story/42312215bf728877f211203fbdfe2858

But those who either escaped the chamber or didn’t bother to show up declined to represent their electorates when it came to the crunch, and have largely escaped scrutiny.

... snip ...

  Asked specifically about Mr Abbott’s absence and what he thought of it, Mr Turnbull said he hadn’t been aware.

   “I didn’t notice his absence, was he not there?” he said on ABC radio.
   (Ouch, that must sting.) “It is a free vote and in our party a free vote means you can vote for or against, or abstain if you wish.”

   Mr Turnbull said he hadn’t spoken with Mr Abbott since the vote.

Bwaahaaahahaha.  Goal to Mal!

That was almost as good as the moment when the media were all mobbing Pauline Hanson for comment on something a while back, and there in the background was her nemesis Abbott (who trumped up charges to send her to jail to get rid of her, from which she was freed and all charges quashed as she had been legal all along! )   trying desperately to be seen behind her, and to be asked for comment by the media ... he wasn't. 
He was treated as the pathetic creature he is.

... then there was that picture of him handing out how to vote pamphlets in Manly and people taking the long way round so they wouldn't have to pass him within arm's reach.   Leper ... again.

I really have to get past this vendetta .. but not until the bastard is gone.
I'm not even over Rudd yet, that wound reopens every time I see or hear that silly bugger too!

I've  lost faith in the media! Imagine that!
I swear they said on the news that Abbott had voted for it!
Maybe it when they were talking about all the amendment voting?? bugga. But no it appears they missed the real story entirely! Confused

Like many, they presumed he was on the Yes side because he wasn't among the braver 4   openly No voters.

It was (wrongly) presumed that because he wasn't on the No side during the division that he must have been with Yes side.
He hadn't expressed intent to abstain so it wasn't until names were recorded that it was noted his was missing from both sides!   He'd vanished, like his conscience!

They hadn't noticed, until they looked at camera footage, that when the surge to the Yes side was on he went with the crowd as far as a side door and slipped out! 
He was out skulkin' in the corridor with his other Religiosi mates.
The others though, his 'acolytes',  all had the guts to at least declare intention to abstain.


So, the Feds are standing down, and have announced that it appears Abbott's conscience eloped with his spine!!
Case solved!  Big Grin


You're probably already up to speed on this one too TA but I'm slow off the mark today.

Abbott is firmly ensconced as Mayor of Shitsville now it seems ..(and not just with me) You know your career prospects of returning as the hard right Leader of the LNP is looking grim when NEWSCORP turns on you !  Confused

They did a job on him that the Guardian would have killed for! 

 They've been pushing him in everyone's face on their TV and radio  outlets to give him air so he could rip "too leftist" Turnbull up, along with their own Party (!) for months.  Newscorp's crusade was to get Tony back in charge of things and to hell with everything else!

Then, when he failed this SSM No campaign and made Mal look so good his ratings went up,  they've decided to just put Abbott down like the loser junk yard dog he is, and try and save what remains of the only sane conservative/rightish Party there is.

Seems someone has realised that all they've done is hand the next election to bloody Labor by default.  Idiots abound and they ain't all only in politics!  I can't imagine Rupe getting it that wrong.  Although I can understand Abbott being stupid enough to trust Rupe. Rolleyes

Here's Newscorp's new assessment of their Right wing wonderboy.  This is like Breitbart ripping into the Tea Party!


Quote:http://www.news.com.au/finance/work/leaders/history-wont-forget-tony-abbotts-cowardly-act/news-story/b6e1a1818339700ab4b01a40155b5fcd#sharehash


Mr Abbott didn’t give a damn what the people wanted — he just didn’t want his fingerprints on the policy.

It’s telling that the politician who proposed a public vote didn’t even turn up to acknowledge it and push his constituents’ wishes through parliament.
He showed the reason behind shoving the vote onto the public was that he didn’t want to have anything to do with it.
The people of Warringah, who Mr Abbott has represented for the past 23 years, delivered one of the most emphatic displays of support for gay marriage  when they returned their postal votes. An overwhelming 75 per cent of voters in his electorate voted Yes.
They sent an unmistakeable message to their MP, who had promised to communicate that to the parliament.

But he didn't.  He proved to everyone what a hollow self serving cold blooded fwitted cowardly arsehole at least half of LNP voters already knew when they cheered that Mal had tossed him out!

America's lucky, they've just a simple orange fucktard to worry about. Trump doesn't come close to the deviously cunning  hypocrisy of Tony Abbott,  it's just being played out here on a smaller stage with a very much smaller military.

Tony wanted to declare war on Russia!  ..  over them shooting down that plane in the Ukraine, with a few Aussies aboard.!  
Luckily Putin thought that was as hilarious as we did,  and just sent the one 'Boomer' on a cruise down the coast to disabuse him of the notion.    Brilliant move.

Now it seems Rupe has sent one of his to give Abbott another message about exactly where he stands on the totem pole.[Image: grin-smiley-emoticon.gif]
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#10
(12-08-2017, 07:46 PM)Di Wundrin Wrote:  Seems someone has realised that all they've done is hand the next election to bloody Labor by default.

I wouldn't be so confident. Shorten is not just an idiot, he has no charisma or appeal, while Mal has copied his hero, John Key, to a T. Key never lost an election, and I bet Mal making a fool out of Abbott will get him votes.

When it comes to the crunch, I'd be surprised if he isn't returned as PM.
Love is... that one person whose freshly-warm toilet seat you don't find disgusting.
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