Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
breakthrough in cleaning technology at the stankerosa
#1
  Mary was finally able to convince me to embrace the liberation i would feel if i simply caved into her and cleaned up my sovereign man-cave space; a space wherein she isn't allowed to be the boss of me.

It only took 28 years for me to achieve my own personal space. I didn't even mind building it and paying for it.
She's the best. None of my ex-wives would have even considered the possibility...even if I lived for all eternity.
She has decided that I must want to paint the entire shit-box...which means i've had to move all my crap out in preparation for this agenda I was too stupid to know that I had.

I spent hours running a shop-vac today, in the cave; sucking up everything that could possibly remind me of my warped concept of freedom.

Anyway, the shop-vac makes an awful noise; one i find unpleasant. It's like white noise, on steroids.

here's the break-through I had:

I found that if i yelled, at the top of my lungs, while the motor was on, it was less painful.
After a while, I tried to harmonize with the machine...as if i was chanting a nasty version of "OM", and the shop-vac was my master.

I found that when I was able to be in harmony with the noise, I couldn't hear myself. We simply blended together.
Because the shop-vac noise tends to vary, like lower pitch when it's sucking up major shit; higher pitch when its tube-like mouth is empty, well, it ain't easy.

But it's a swell way to do voice training. And it forces you to zero in on your pitch.

Best part is that because the hellish sucking device is so loud, you can really let your voice rip...in a way that most people would be shy to do...even when driving alone.

Primal scream therapy is embarrassing to me. But singing along with the roaring drone of a powerful sucking machine is actually not very disgraceful at all. And if you can manage the right note and volume, nobody can even tell that you're yelling your ass off.
It's like you get cancelled out in the larger effort.

Can't wait to sing to my chainsaw. That tool has a much wider vocal range. Plus, I'll have my finger on the throttle...hence, more control on the sound.
Reply
#2
Oh shit, I see a whole new band emerging from this.

Good chuckle, thank Mary for us.Big Grin
Reply
#3
(08-15-2017, 08:41 PM)stanky Wrote:  Can't wait to sing to my chainsaw. That tool has a much wider vocal range. Plus, I'll have my finger on the throttle...hence, more control on the sound.

If you use quality earmuffs, you can talk to it.  I speak from much experience.  Chainsaws eat eardrums.
"Nobody should pin their hopes on a miracle": Vladimir Putin
Reply
#4
(08-15-2017, 08:41 PM)stanky Wrote:  Can't wait to sing to my chainsaw. That tool has a much wider vocal range. Plus, I'll have my finger on the throttle...hence, more control on the sound.

(08-15-2017, 10:01 PM)Di Wundrin Wrote:  Oh shit, I see a whole new band emerging from this.

Good chuckle, thank Mary for us.Big Grin



"Feckin' slaboriosity, i tell you." - stanky
Reply
#5
That was brilliant.
"Nobody should pin their hopes on a miracle": Vladimir Putin
Reply
#6




That was ordinary.
"Nobody should pin their hopes on a miracle": Vladimir Putin
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)