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T.A. wrote
"Alas, not news, mate." etc.

Yet, what I wrote is actually from life experience.
I've been in a few jams; mostly floods, and a few tornadoes...with loved ones.
A few times with my kids; a few times with Mary....and I was instantly relieved of my own fear thru the grace of my concern for them.
It's a very real thing.

I've swam in the ocean at night, alone, and I was absolutely terrified. I think it's a common feeling.
Yet, I've also pulled a few people out of dangerous rip-tides without a drop of fear for my own ass.
This is also very common. I'm in no way exceptional in this regard. (Except possibly for being willing to swim in the ocean alone at night, if only to experience and address the terror and the weird shame of fear.)

If i was alone when a tornado came, I'd shit myself in fear. Yet, toss my kids into the mix, and I'm suddenly free of fear.
I tap into their fear.

I guess this is all too obvious; maybe even obnoxious...but i find it to have metaphorical significance.

I'd be far crazier if i couldn't attempt blows against the new empire and the soullessness of the modernity we're all headed to.

I find no shame in being a spiritual sort of skeptic and science geek.
It's all equally embarrassing these days.

War is interesting in that it does tend to bring out some of the best in people. Soldiers that have seen combat frequently miss the depth of community they get to experience with their mates...the fear...and the love.
They often have a hard time dealing with the superficiality of what awaits them back home.

Castanada made some brilliant analogies and metaphors in his well hated (by most skeptics) books. One of them was about how the Toltecs were able to use fear as a tool to accomplish extraordinary things. They used death as a counselor, of adviser.
It's an interesting idea, regardless of how you feel about those stories.

anyway, I'm obligated to go off like this, periodically.
For one thing, who the hell else is likely to do it?
It's my job.
Why do some people jump on the grenade? Seems to me that if you have time to jump on a grenade to save your mates, you have equal time to jump the fuck away from it, feet first. Full length on the ground facing away from the blast, I reckon your boots would take most of the impact and you'd survive.

Yet people are probably more likely to take it for the team.

Ben Elton got it 100% right talking about life in the trenches in WWI. Guys would climb up ladders into the face of machine-gun fire, knowing for certain they were likely to die. And not in a pretty way.


Because the fear of not being part of the group, of fucking up, was greater than the fear of death.
Love is... that one person whose freshly-warm toilet seat you don't find disgusting.

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