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Scheduled Mild Amusements Dump
#1
New lift installed at the Cardiac Research Centre.

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Hey you! 2nd from the top!  You had one job!
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New!  Energy efficient Enviro Dish Washer.

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Work smarter.
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Obligatory Cat pic.
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#2
Good stuff that!
You can lead 'em to knowledge, but you can't make 'em think.
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#3
Maybe this belongs here?

Yesterday, the thought occurred that I'd become too serious; that perhaps I needed to toss up something really stanky, for old time's sake and what all....

It shames me and makes me proud, in equal measures, that it took me all of 20 seconds to conceive of this classic character; worthy of South Park, if nothing else:

Let's call him "Frankly B. Johnson".
He's a young man; well endowed; bright future in the porn industry.
Because of a religious epiphany, he decides to abandon his life of sin and turn his life over to god's will, which lands him in Afghanistan, as a soldier, wherein a terrorist inspired explosive leaves him a quadruple amputee.

Back in the states, he becomes disenchanted with the Veteran's Administration's commitment to his rehabilitation, and sets out on his own.

("Fuck it", Frankly B. Johnson says to himself."I'll manage somehow.")

Alert: this may get a bit kinky for adults, so shut your eyes. The details are made for kids:

How does Frankly manage ambulatory competence?
1. Takes his clothes off.
2. Lays on his stomach.
3. prepares to move backwards.
4. Uses a series of mental imagery to get an erection; i.e., thinks about having sex with his wife's sister, which sends blood to his huge man-unit, shoving his limbless body at least 9" backwards
5. Thinks about his grandma's dentures, enabling an anti-erect penis.
6. repeats the process, enabling a slow inch-worm like movement along the ground.

Pretty cool, right?

See? I'm not your run of the mill politically obsessed intellectual.

I can still think of other stuff.
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#4
Please do! It's gotta be better than that effort. [Image: happy-smiley35.gif] ... laughed though so it qualifies for the thread .. not that you'd care right?
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#5
I care deeply.

You know that.

(Can't believe you didn't love the concept of propulsion via alternating mental imagery.)

Mark my word, love...one of these imaginary lurkers is going to run with that concept.

I don't even mind that they won't credit me for the idea.
(I have other ideas I don't even know I have.)
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#6
Stanky has done an admirable job describing NASAs new Boner Limp On Boner or BLOB hyperdrive concept.
You can lead 'em to knowledge, but you can't make 'em think.
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#7
Thank you, Sparky.

(it was rather ground-breaking technology.)

It begs the question:

What other technological breakthroughs might be envisaged through the use of thought?

Could there be a link between the thought process and reproduction itself?

I'd be out of my depth to speculate further on matters best left to physics and neurosciences.
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#8
A link between thought and reproduction? Sure. Goes something like this:

Human sees something. Thought takes place. Desire results. More thought.

End result: Man ends up boinking his sports car.

(Notice I didn't say anything about the quality of the 'thought' that was taking place, eh?)

This instance doesn't lead to reproduction, I admit. But it's the...


wait for it...


it's the ... thought ... that counts.


(Maybe this should go in the grinners and groaners thread?)
You can lead 'em to knowledge, but you can't make 'em think.
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#9
This reminds me:

The highest paid prostitute in the world could very well be a horse named 'Bodemeister'.
He has successfully bred 175 mares per year, for a few years, at $25.000 a pop.

Sure, it must be demeaning for him...being used that way by his pimp...but at least he has a lot of money.
A horse that wealthy can be very picky about the females he has sex with.

175 times $25,000 is a chunk of change.

Today is the Kentucky Derby, and 'we' take it very seriously..right up there with Wildcat's basketball and the Bible.
It's not all hillbillies here. Some of the farms in the 'Bluegrass' region would make Trump envious.
Horse racing is the sport of kings and other really rich people, and this race today; a mere 1.25 miles, is as big as it gets.
It oozes money.

I've never much liked horses or the mega-rich, so I'll stay out of it.
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#10
Amusing side-note about this:
When Bodemeister is past his prime, he will likely be sold for 25 cents/pound, at auction, for dog food.
No joke.
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